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I Find Myself Laughing.

I have developed a habit of watching the opening monologs of three of the late-night shows — Trevor Noah, Steven Colbert, and Seth Meyers — before I go to bed. They are all totally political, and I usually learn things. Plus all three amuse me.

But I rarely laugh. I’m just not a big laugher. I don’t know why. When I go to a comedy in the theater — as was my wont in the pre-covid days — I always take care not to sit in the front row. As a performer myself, I know what a drag it is to have a stone-face like me sitting up close.

But last night I found myself laughing! Frequently! It wasn’t that Trev & Steph & Seth were funnier than usual. They are always reliably funny. They are funny themselves and they have a team of writers to help them achieve laugh lift-off five nights a week.

Laughter just kept bubbling up from deep inside. Something in ME has changed, and I think it’s this: I am no longer walking around in the Dark Gray Cloud of Dread because:

TRUMP IS GOING DOWN IN FLAMES!

THE GOP IS GOING DOWN THE TUBES!

THE RATS ARE LEAVING THE SINKING SHIP!

DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN!

Since November 8, 2016 we have been living in a Dark Gray Cloud of Dread that just got dreadfuller and dreadfuller.

I’m not saying I see smooth sailing until we see Der Toddler leave the People’s White House for the last time. But… I don’t know…. maybe it WILL be smooth sailing! It’s POSSIBLE. If this experience has taught us anything it’s that ANYTHING is possible.

And the laughter bubbles up in me. What a great feeling.

Written by

Terry Baum is an actress, director, teacher, filmmaker, political activist, and award-winning lesbian playwright. Her blog BAUMBLOG is a “Top 100 LGBTQ Blog.”

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